Some people go to Las Vegas for vacation. Others to the Caribbean. I recently deplaned from my vacation to scenic Okemos, Michigan, just next door to East Lansing, Michigan, and new home of Ben, my friend of almost 20 years, whose wife works at Michigan State University.
As an introductory note, I believe that Michigan State's motto should be "Home of the 7 or 8." Per capita, East Lansing had some of the best looking college female talent I've seen on the various college campuses I've been to. There aren't 10s, you never really find yourself gawking in amazement, but Michigan State wins the consistency award for the most steadily highly attractive "talent" I've seen on any college campus.
On to what matters... the sports geek's review of my trip to the Lansing Metropolitan Area.
THURSDAY NIGHT:
So we went to see the Lansing Lugnuts (low-A affiliate of the Blue Jays) host the Fort Wayne Wizards (low-A affiliate of the Padres). However, the Lugnuts do call Carlos Zambrano and Jason Simontacchi alums, among a few other current major leaguers. The Lugnuts play in Oldsmobile Park. This should give you an idea about the town of Lansing... the ballpark is named after a brand of automobile that was discontinued in 2004 which the town prided itself on being the home of. Who knows if GM had signed a long-term naming deal when the park was built in 1996 and they're stuck with Oldsmobile Park. Nevertheless, the stadium is named after a defunct car manufacturer. It also happened to be Thirsty Thursday at Oldsmobile Park. Nothing to help the residents of a city with a 5.4% unemployment rate whose major factories have all pretty much shut down feel less depressed than $2 draft beers all over the ballpark. However, this also accomplished the feat of drawing half the MSU students who stayed on campus for the summer out to the ballpark (hence part of the knowledge base of the 7s and 8s). I will say this for Oldsmobile Park... it's a gorgeous place for a low-A team and for $9, we sat 6 rows from the field in between home plate and the dugout. The park definitely looks like it's designed to someday draw a higher-level minor league team. But on to the Lugnuts. First off, you should know that they actually have a song in the tradition of "Hail to the Redskins" and "Meet the Mets." One of the verses is as follows:
This is our town.
This is our team.
If you're up against us
You're gonna get creamed.
Just stick around,
See what we mean.
Get ready to yell
Get ready to scream.
Ready to scream, ready to scream,
Ready to scream, see what we mean.
You gotta Go Nuts, Go Nuts, Go Nuts, Go Nuts
Lugnuts, Lugnuts, Lugnuts, Lugnuts
So yes. A truly wonderful song developed by the best jingle writers in Central Michigan. I recommend going to lansinglugnuts.com and listening to the real song to understand just how campy the whole thing is, complete with electric guitar interludes. If you're fortunate enough to go to Oldsmobile Park, you should hear it about three times during your stay.
Also, while at Oldsmobile Park, I received Lesson #1 of the weekend... I learned it's probably better to not say out loud in Lansing that the Lugnut mascot looks worried because he just heard about how much more reliable and affordable Japanese cars are.
FRIDAY:
So Ben and I spent pretty much the entire day on Friday walking around the campus of Michigan State. Which, for a sports fan, means finding the sports venues on campus and trying to get into them. We were successful on both accounts.
So like all college hoops junkies, I was very interested to see the Breslin Center, home of MSU basketball. A nice-sized arena where as you can see above, the students surround the court. However, just like Comcast, the top seats are very high above the action and I'm sure that the people in those seats feel just as detached from the action as the people sitting in the 200s do at Comcast. Breslin does have trophy cases that contain such things as folding chairs from the benches of the arenas at all the Final Fours (so the folding chair has the Final Four logo), and a few other neat things. However, it doesn't have the floor from the 2000 Final Four unlike Comcast Center which has our national championship winning floor. Also, no giant trophy case which is a great landmark for Comcast. I didn't expect it to be Comcast in terms of newness or amenities, but when you win a National Championship, I think it needs to be the centerpiece of your arena. I can, however, see why it is one of the more intimidating places to play in the Big 10.
While at Breslin, we had an experience that any sports fan would understand... one of those experiences that leaves you excited but that excitement just doesn't carry over when you relay the story to your significant other. As we're walking into Breslin, we practically bump right into Tom Izzo, who looks much younger in person than on TV and is a very friendly guy, saying hello to everyone in sight as he leaves his office. Then, as we left Breslin, we saw Tom Izzo again, this time getting into his shiny silver Lexus with his wife and daughter. Of course now, he definitely shot Ben and I the "why the hell are you stalking me, you goddamn weirdos" look and zoomed past a stop sign and right into the crosswalk where we were standing. It's relieving though to see that traffic laws are optional for all big-time college coaches. Gary doesn't necessarily have to abide by DUI laws, so Tom Izzo shouldn't necessarily have to abide by stop signs.
On the outside of Breslin, they have the oddly-designed Magic Johnson sculpture, as seen at left. Of course it's Magic during his playing days, so they couldn't help but include him with a giant fro. But Ben and I, for the life of us, couldn't figure out what it was at the bottom of the sculpture that Magic is escaping from. Lesson #2 of the Weekend... not a good idea to theorize at Breslin Center with a few MSU staff members around that maybe those bodies represent the groupies who Magic had unprotected sex with. I'm pretty much unsure that Ben will ever go anywhere again with me.
26 comments:
I can't believe I call this place home.
I know it's hard to believe that Jeremy left anything out, but I'm still surprised that you didn't mention how we were selected to play Name That Tune at Oldsmobile Park. I'll spare your readers the long version and just say we colluded so Jeremy could win and I could take home the free tickets for a future Lugnuts game. I guess Jeremy didn't want to fly back out for another game.
Also I think it's interesting to note that MSU built a statue to honor a man who did not graduate from the University. Yes, a fine academic institution, indeed.
You gotta go nuts, go nuts, go nuts, go nuts, LUGNUTS!
Oldsmobile may be defunct, but GM is still kicking. Still kicking so hard that someone stole the passenger-side rear tire and wheel off my Pontiac overnight last night.
And Ben, you can pretend Jeremy colluded with you to throw "Name That Tune", but you and I both know if the song wasn't Guns N' Roses, Poison, Cinderella, or Springsteen, Jeremy had no chance anyway.
You left Bon Jovi off that list.
And really, Michigan State has the best looking co-eds? I have to call shenanigans on that. There is no chance a rust-belt school earns that title. In no particular order, here is a list of schools that would easily beat MSU:
* Southern Cal
* Texas
* James Madison
* UNC
* UGA
* Miami
* Clemson
* Florida State
* Auburn
I think that's enough to prove my point.
The problem is that your baseline for evaluation skews after graduation. An average college student becomes a 7 or 8 for you. While you were in college, the same girl would have been a 5, because you saw thousands of girls just like her every day. Now that you're an old man, your scale has shifted.
Also, I'm not really sure why, but I've always had an irrational hatred of Michigan State.
This ignores my central point of why still name it "Oldsmobile Park???" It's a constant reminder to Lansing that their pride and joy has gone the way of the Model T (and the manufacturing jobs along with it).
Also, I admit Brien's point that maybe my point of view is a little skewed and the 18-22 demographic automatically gets a higher bump now because I'm pushing 27. UNC definitely took the cake at the 2001 ACC Tourney for having not only hot girls, but hot girls who knew everything about basketball.
And for those who want to know the details, Ben and I were selected to square off against each other in Name That Tune. They told us it was a Queen song. I nailed Bohemian Rhapsody. We colluded so that he gave me six seconds to get the song because we knew that I could get any Queen hit in that much time. They would never play GnR in Lansing... it would corrupt the good people of Middle America.
And a hatred of Michigan State? Maryland schools them like green-haired stepchildren every time we play them at basketball (mens and womens). So it must be irrational. My Big 10 hatred is of Penn State. Fuckers do a home-and-home with UVA and still insist on a 2-for-1 deal with the Terps.
There is no such thing as an irrational hatred of Michigan State. All hatred is justified.
Also, another point missed in that Izzo story that Jeremy and I failed discuss during his trip, Izzo was in a Lexus? That's not an American car, is it?
I'm sure his car was literally put together in the USA, but it is owned by Toyota. That is a sin in Michigan. I know he is an East Lansing diety but I can't believe he gets away with that. And I can't believe he has the nerve to try it.
The 2000 Final Four court is in place at Breslin.
Carlos Beltran is probably the most famous Lugnut alumnus.
GM signed a long-term naming deal with the City of Lansing and could have chose to rename the ballpark after another of its' brands but kept the Olds name in deference to many local residents.
Actually Breslin does have the floor from the 2000 national championship. The plaque is right by the home tunnel. You should've looked closer.
Brien forgot College of Charleston. That's the all-time hottest coed school. If they have 2500 female students, 2499 are hotter than anything at Maryland.
If you want to see trophies then check out the mens (and womens) basketball offices that are attached to the building, there you will see the trophies, not in the breslin because MSU doesnt technically own the building, so why would they put something like that in a non university owned place.
The reason that we don't have the 2000 Final Four floor in our trophy case is because MSU bought the whole court use it as the breslin center court.
It's funny how "Ben" tries to act cool in front of his friends. Odds are that this d-bag never leaves his basement. Does "Ben" not have any EL friends to show him around or do anything? Did you go to Munn, the home of the 2007 NC hockey team? There is also no time to better gauge the sports scene of a campus than during the summer. Roger Dorn writing this?
jeremy
i hope u dont suck at life cuase ur blog suck bout lugnutz an msu an u start a racewar an cuase u must be pissed at me cause u didnt get no pooneytang
cuz da poonanny all am want a shot o bolleycillen
Just wanted to let you know of 1 error in your blog.
MSU does in fact have the floor from the 2000 final four...it is the floor we play on in the Breslin. There is a plaque..i beleive across the baseline from the home bench which confirms as much.
"Maryland schools them like green-haired stepchildren every time we play them at basketball""
HAAAARDLY EVERY TIME.Last time Maryland beat MSU (who played no seniors) by two points. You will not want toplay MSU the next few years... ;)
Mar 28, 2003
SOUTH REGIONAL
AT SAN ANTONIO TX
NCAA BB SOUTH REGIONAL FINAL
MICHIGAN ST (7) 60
MARYLAND (6) 58 FINAL
As a former east coaster, your blog attempt at ripping on MSU is pretty weak. MSU has one of the most beautiful campuses in the Midwest. If you were on campus when the coeds were there, your chick rating would be in the 8-9-10's. Does MSU have the quantity of "talent" as USC? Perhaps, not. But they are there.
MSU Nat'l Title floor is the floor used in the Breslin. There are more Trophy Cases in Jenison Field House where Magic played. He may not have graduated from MSU, But is deserves a statue (Bird and Magic saved the NBA in the early 80's, Nat'l Title at MSU, multiple World Champ with Lakers, Dream Team member in Barcelona, etc).
I can't see how anyone could possibly read Jeremy's post as "ripping" on MSU. I thought it was shockingly positive. When I saw the post title, I expected lots of MSU-bashing. Instead, he praised your minor league baseball facilities, your women, and your sports complexes (with some minor criticism). How does that constitute "ripping" the university?
Also, I'm not sure you've heard, but the 2000 Final Four court is in Breslin, Jeremy just didn't see it.
As someone from Lansing I'd say a decent analysis.
-The first time I heard the lugnuts song I laughed but now I want to gouge my ears out every thursday home game.
-You were pretty much dead on with Spartan Stadium analysis. She doesn't look like much but indeed gets the job done. It's noticably louder than the big house despite holding 30k less.
-The 2000 court is currently on the floor. I also think there are some trophies in the berkiwitz center where the coaches offices are. And yes, as king of East Lansing Izzo is exempt from all laws of the common man.
-The Magic statue doesn't look a think like magic imo, young OR old. I always thought they shoulda built a statue for steve smith instead since he 1. graduated and 2. donated 10 million to the university. But I guess Magic is the greatest athlete to ever come out of EL so that counts for something.
-"maryland schools MSU in bball?" well one severely wrong statement out of several isn't too bad i suppose.
Jeff Smoker. MSU definitely beats Maryland in coolest QB name. Boomer Esiason is not even close.
When I read the "Maryland schools MSU" line I too cringed. I remember them knocking us out of the tourney.
In case Anonymous Number 4 is back to read this, you are 100% right. I never leave my basement and I have no EL friends.
But you seem like a cool guy, so we should hang out.
As for Munn, we obviously walked by it (I'm sure you know of its proximity to Spartan Stadium and Breslin). It looked dark, uninteresting and uninviting. Perhaps we should have tried to go in, but we didn't. Hockey does not hold the same intrigue for us east coasters as basketball and football. And yes, we were aware that they were national champs.
I hope the East Coast Bias bloggerss don't mind that the midwest post has taken over their site. That Sparty crowd is one rowdy bunch.
Don't worry, it's 3pm now and all the midwesterners will have to begin tending to their casseroles and fried, cheese-filled creations.
Yeah, it was also my shortsighted mistake with the "schooled" line. I was actually in the Alamodome, sitting about seven rows off the court that fateful evening in 2003 when Michigan State knocked us out of the tourney and Nik Caner-Medley gave me the most brutal sports injury I've ever seen in person. I suppose maybe I've just blocked it out of my memory. Or maybe seeing both the Terp men and women beat MSU this year blotted it out.
I am sorry about my error regarding your Final Four floor. There was no guided tour of the Breslin Center available, and the Final Four floor isn't on display in the foyer of Breslin the way it is at Comcast Center.
And lay off my boy Ben. He knows more about Big 10 sports than any of you could ever forget. I don't think he really regrets that his friends are primarily in Ann Arbor and not East Lansing.
But MSU folks, you do have a cool little college town, some good looking girls, and a nice river that runs through campus... it's too bad you're next door to that snakepit state capital. I would think that some of us "East Coasters" might treat you way harsher.
Jeremy, are you trying to get me killed? I'm trying to make nice with my new friends here in East Lansing so they can show me around and teach me which bars are the coolest.
I don't know how you can say that East Coasters care about football and basketball.Maybe pro football, but definitely not college. The only historically relevant D1 football program in the east is Penn State, and maybe Syracuse/VTU. up until 5 years ago you Terps were selling the rights to your home games to the seminoles because you could only get 10-15k in the stadium(which is less than the Brez holds), with that fact you have no legs to stand on.
However the lugnutz part was spot on. I am an MSU grad and the coeds don't really hold a candle to the SEC. MSU has a ton of 7-8, but the SEC is filled with 9-10's.
Bad at reading and geography.
No one said that the East Coast cares about college football more than the midwest. No one said that Maryland has a better football program than MSU.
Also, Florida is on the East Coast, meaning that UF, FSU, and Miami are East Coast schools. There are also two little East Coast schools you may have hear of, called the United States Military Academy and the United States Naval Academy. Historically, they have had a couple of pretty decent teams.
But again, no one claimed that the East Coast is a bigger college football region than the midwest. I'm starting to detect quite an inferiority complex coming from our Spartan commenters.
As the resident expert on inferiority complex (Orioles v. Yankees, Ravens v. Redskins, Maryland v. Duke/UNC), let me say that MSU, and Michigan in general, is definitely king of the inferiority complex. I really thought I'd draw some fire away from Jeremy with my casseroles and fried cheese comment.
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