... and ladies and gentlemen, I give you J-Red's archnemesis, the most overrated coach in the ACC, the coach who has recruited the most talent yielding the least results unless you count his back-to-back-to-back Continental Tire Bowl victories in 2002 and 2003, and whose sideline fashion sense is actually bested by Bill Belichick.
Yes, it is none other than...
Al Groh, the man who as he so aptly explained to J-Red, has coached at the dog pound, and who evidently didn't find sweatpants with loops for a belt.
Fuck UVA
In the words of Al Pacino, "Brotha, you are going down." 8 pm, primetime, Homecoming, Saturday night... it's going to be ugly. I don't care what the spread is, I take the Terps. UVA is the ultimate paper tiger, and I dare anybody to prove me wrong on that.
4 comments:
Replace the Telex pack on his hip with a colostomy bag, and you have my real impression of him.
Hmm, let's see. I'm in a researching mood. Not counting players from his (losing) stretch as head coach of Wake, or his .500 stretch as head coach of the Jets, this is some of the talent Groh has had to work with on his way to an overall 73-74 head coaching record:
Darryl Blackstock, LB, Cardinals (2005)
Ahmad Brooks, LB, Bengals (2006)
Elton Brown, G, Cardinals (2005)
Brad Butler, OT, Bills (2006)
Chris Canty, DE, Cowboys (2005)
Angelo Crowell, LB, Bills (2003)
Isaiah Ekejiuba, LB, Raiders (2005)
D'Brickashaw Ferguson, OT, Jets (2006)
Marques Hagans, WR, Rams, (2007) (and a big game today, 5 for 74)
Heath Miller, TE, Steelers (2005)
Alvin Pearman, RB, Seahawks (2005)
Matt Schaub, QB, Texans (2004)
Jamaine Winborne, CB, Ravens (2005)
73-74. Yup. You sure were in the NFL for a year. I hope you paid your respects at the Rich Kotite, Bruce Coslet and Art Shell shrines on your way through.
Al Groh's recruiting pitch: "We might lose to Duke, but we're on TV and you can still make the pros!" Of course, out of his filthy NYC mouth, it sounds more like "Cocksuckan refrees fawked us agin, but yous guys looked fuckin' awesome on Jefferson Pilot."
Oh, and when Al Groh left the Jets in early 2001, a true freshman starting this year would have been 11 or 12.
Al Groh is about as much an NFL head coach as Dick LeBeau, Dave McGinnis, Mike Mularkey, Gregg Williams, Butch Davis, Mike Tice and Bill Callahan are to those kids.
Mike Riley. Pete Carroll...oh, wait.
And can we nominate Al Groh for best Scheyer face outside of Dook?
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