May 28, 2009

Memphis Charged with Major NCAA Violations

So we find out this morning that the NCAA is charging the Memphis basketball program with "major recruiting violations during the 2007-2008 season. This from

The Memphis men's basketball program has been charged by the NCAA with major violations during the 2007-08 season under former coach John Calipari. The Memphis Commercial Appeal first reported the story on Wednesday after obtaining a letter detailing the allegations through the Freedom of Information Act. The allegations include "knowing fraudulence or misconduct" on an SAT exam by a player on the 2007-08 team. The wording of the letter to Memphis indicates that the player in question only competed during the 2007-08 season and the 2008 NCAA tournament. The player's name was redacted in the letter due to privacy laws. Sources told Wednesday night that Derrick Rose was the player in question. He played only one season for Memphis before being selected as the first pick in the 2008 draft by the Chicago Bulls. The letter also alleged that Memphis provided $2,260 in free travel to road games for an associate of a player. The NCAA is charging Memphis with a failure to monitor. If the NCAA allegations are proven true, Memphis might have to forfeit their NCAA-record 38 victories and Final Four appearance.

Coach Cal pleading that this doesn't screw up his chances to nail Ashley Judd

So, in the line of J-Red's post about "Things More Believable than the Redskins' Tampering Defense," I give you "Things Less Surprising than Memphis Being Charged with Major NCAA Violations." Feel free to add your own in the comments section:

1) Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire being implicated for having taken steroids.

2) The Washington Generals... err... Nationals... being 15 games out of first place by late May.

3) Lebron James whining about reffing in the NBA playoffs.

4) Chad Ochocinco (notice, only one word, as mandated by the NFL) planning a touchdown celebration for each week of the NFL season, only to need to use about 2 or 3 of them.

5) Mel Kiper using the word "upside" at the NFL Draft.

6) T.O. wearing out his welcome with another NFL team and then throwing players and coaches on that team under the bus.

7) Controversy is caused by the third-place team in the BCS Standings stating their case as to why the system is flawed, leading to weeks-long discussion about a college football playoff system until the NFL playoffs begin when nobody gives a shit about NCAA Football anymore aside from people in Oklahoma.

8) Michael Phelps taking first place in a swim meet.

9) (fill in Olympic sport) gaining rapid popularity for two weeks of wall-to-wall NBC coverage and the 20 devoted followers of that sport believe that the sport will take off all across the country, only to find that nobody really cares about the 2007 Pairs Ice Dancing Championships in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

10) The sun rises in the east and sets in the west.

May 27, 2009

Capitals, Nationals Implicated in Steroids Ring

A steroids dealer in Florida caught with over $200,000 worth of illegal performance-enhacing substances boasted of selling to the Washington Capitals and Nationals. No names yet, but stay tuned. Let's hope the big names like Alex Ovechkin and Alexander Semin stay out of this one.

Since I know you're wondering, the 2005 NHL CBA provides for a 20-game suspension on the first positive test, 60 on the second, and a "permanent" ban of at least two seasons on the third. NHL Bylaw 17 and NHL Constitution Article 6 provide the Commissioner with the typical "conduct detrimental" suspension powers for off-ice conduct.

Article here. Another article with some more detail here.

May 26, 2009

Things More Believable than the Redskins' Tampering Defense

With the NFL looking into allegations that Vinny Cerrato and the Redskins tampered with free agent Albert Haynesworth prior to the opening of free agency, I was pondering some things I find more credible than the Redskins' story that they reached a nine-figure deal with the sack machine in a matter of hours.

1) The Warren Report

2) Barry Bonds' home run total

3) Barry Bonds

4) O.J. Simpson

5) Anna Nicole Smith's "attorney" Howard K. Stern

6) Adam Lambert's heterosexuality

7) Bill Clinton's marijuana smoking technique

8) The Pittsburgh Steelers' program to train pit bulls not to eat ponies or infants

9) Sidney Crosby's beard

10) Drew Rosenhaus

11) Iraqi WMDs

12) The Onion

13) The Nationals' rebuilding plan

14) SEC recruiting

15) Pete Rose

16) Tim Donaghy

17) Creationist theory

18) Holocaust deniers

19) Kim Jong Il

20) Tony Kornheiser's football expertise