May 26, 2009

Things More Believable than the Redskins' Tampering Defense

With the NFL looking into allegations that Vinny Cerrato and the Redskins tampered with free agent Albert Haynesworth prior to the opening of free agency, I was pondering some things I find more credible than the Redskins' story that they reached a nine-figure deal with the sack machine in a matter of hours.

1) The Warren Report

2) Barry Bonds' home run total

3) Barry Bonds

4) O.J. Simpson

5) Anna Nicole Smith's "attorney" Howard K. Stern

6) Adam Lambert's heterosexuality

7) Bill Clinton's marijuana smoking technique

8) The Pittsburgh Steelers' program to train pit bulls not to eat ponies or infants

9) Sidney Crosby's beard

10) Drew Rosenhaus

11) Iraqi WMDs

12) The Onion

13) The Nationals' rebuilding plan

14) SEC recruiting

15) Pete Rose

16) Tim Donaghy

17) Creationist theory

18) Holocaust deniers

19) Kim Jong Il

20) Tony Kornheiser's football expertise

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