March 26, 2008

Five Weird Pieces of Sports Memorbilia on E-Bay

We all know E-Bay is full of weird stuff, but here are five particularly weird pieces of sports memorabilia current up for bids.

1) Willie Mays Full Frontal Nude - Say HEY! This offering supposedly comes with the negative and the rights to the photo. You can buy it now for the low, low price of $25K. That's a lot of money to see a dude's schlong. It also makes you long for the time when you didn't wonder what is in the doctor's syringe. Hurry, Jeremy! The auction ends at 11 a.m. Thursday.

2) "Lemon-Peel" Baseball - Maybe the dead ball era occurred in part because the balls looked like something that would fall off a tropical tree. For only $275, this 125 year-old "ball" could be yours. I hate to think what kind of nasty could be produced by Dice-K flinging this oblong turd.

3) Two Crappy Tickets for Wake's 30-0 November 2006 Win over FSU - $250, where do I sign up? I mean, seriously, Maryland doesn't have the most amazing football tradition, but I can't imagine any of us would be dumb enough to shell out $250 for ticket stubs for a regular old conference game. Keep trying dude, but this $250 isn't going to fill the void caused by your divorce caused by you missing the game to pick out a new bedskirt.

4) Antique Golf Ball Vending Machine - Best placed right next to the tee box for the island green on 17 at Sawgrass. This vintage golf ball machine from the 70's apparently still works, doling out golf balls in exchange for $0.50. You could use it as a weird conversation piece, or actually stake out a place where duffers tend to lose a lot of balls. The seller claims it can be refilled.

5) Muhammad Ali Decanter from 1981 - For you middle school dropouts, a decanter is something you fill with liquid, usually a potent potable. Gather your friends and family for a quaff of fine brandy, poured directly from The Greatest's Neckhole. That's right, Cassius' head comes off with the cork, allowing you to pour a fine cocktail from his larynx. Of course, as a Muslim, Ali does not drink, but don't let that stop you from enjoying the hooch. At $199, it's a bargain.

Bid with confidence!


Brien said...

I think this might need to become a recurring item. Great finds!

"ben" said...

I really think the only item that is strange is the Willie Mays picture.

Being too young to have seen him play, I guess it's my only chance to find out if he really was a five tool player.

(ba-dum, ching!)

Jeremy said...

Great caesar's ghost was this funny. I concur that this must be a recurring theme. Way to respect arguably the greatest boxer of all time. Pop his head off and pour out liquid that is contrary to his religious beliefs.

And the Willie Mays item could be useful in that it could finally prove whether THE myth is true... that all outfielders for the Giants are well endowed. HELLO Aaron Rowand!!!!

J-Red said...

Jeremy, that would have to include Barry Bonds and J.T. Snow. It's just too far-fetched to be true.

Ben, I actually stumbled across the Mays listing and then found four more odd listings. Maybe the recurring theme will have to be "interesting" rather than weird.