July 5, 2007

Joey Chestnut: True American Hero

It was only fitting that on Independence Day, Joey Chestnut, American through and through, beat the six-time reigning champion Kobayashi in the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest on Coney Island. Chestnut inhaled a world-record 66 hot dogs (and buns) in 12 minutes, or one hot dog and bun every 10.9 seconds. Talk about revenge for Pearl Harbor! This is right up there with Rocky IV where Rocky beat the dastardly Commie all in the name of American pride.

But let's look at Chestnut's win from another perspective...

Nutritional Information for one Nathan's Famous Beef Frank with Bun (care of http://www.calorie-count.com)
309 calories (15% of daily value)
20.0 grams of fat (31% of daily value)
8.0 grams of saturated fat (40% of daily value)
35 mg of cholesterol (12 % of daily value)
684 mg of sodium (29% of daily value)

So if Chestnut ingested 66 of these hot dogs, let's see how his nutrition was satisfied for yesterday, July 4, 2007:

20,394 calories (1,019.7% of daily value)

1,320 grams of fat (2,046.5% of daily value)

528 grams of saturated fat (2,640.0% of daily value)

2,310 mg of cholesterol (791.1% of daily value)

45,144 mg of sodium (1,914.5% of daily value)

Wow, and I woke up this morning feeling like crap from eating too much finger food at the party I was at last night. All I can say is that it's a good thing there's no Competitive Eater's Player's Union, or else there will definitely be Congressional hearings within the next 20 years over the long-term effects of competitive eating and how the Competitive Eating League does not care for it's now bloated, heart congested, and cholesterol ticking time bomb retired competitive eaters.

Also, am I the only one who wonders how Joey Chestnut gets rid of all that stuff. I mean, these guys swear they don't engage in purging. So how many laxatives does the man have to take. I know that this sports blog just took a huge turn to the outside with this thought, but I KNOW that every one of you who reads these stories would be lying if you told me the question didn't cross your mind. I mean, I hope the guy has a year's worth of Maxim, Sports Illustrated, and Sudoku books in his bathroom.

But Godspeed Joey Chestnut... you make us all proud to be Americans on this most important day.


Brien said...

I almost watched this live, but then I saw that the episode of Made with Diem (from Real World-Road Rules Challenge) was on, so I watched that instead.

Jeremy said...

Dude... I've never been able to watch RR-RW Challenge. Or the various Infernos as they've been known to be called. I think what has been the total nail in the coffin for me on the Real World experience was the Las Vegas Reunited show. This may be fodder for a different post since I used to be a RW junkie and can probably cobble together a coherent piece on how everything went downhill after Seattle and Boston.

Staci and Theresa and I saw them filming the Austin series while we were down there. We saw what's his name black guy, what's his name white guy (not the one who almost lost an eye), and the Army nurse who kept crying the whole time.

"ben" said...

Gee, I always root for Kobayashi. I didn't really have this event down for my American pride.

Brien said...

I actually like the challenge show better than either Real World or Road Rules.

But you should definitely do an entire post on the Real World, I agree that the Reunited show has been a huge disappointment so far. The highlight for me, though, was the first episode, when they had segments on each cast member showing what they've been doing since Vegas. The segment on Alton talked about how he's doing some modeling, and some other bullshit, and completely left out the fact that he spends 4-6 months a year on MTV doing those challenge shows. THAT is his career! Don't insult my intelligence by acting like he has a real job!

J-Red said...

Alton has a large penis, or so we've been told a billion times. I agree that only the Challenges are worth watching, and I don't even watch those as much as I used to because the girls aren't hot enough.

Benjamin said...

It was genuinely inspiring live. Watching the "count" girls behind each eater struggling not to vomit truly made my morning.

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