May 14, 2007

Sopranos ***SPOILER ALERT***

It's Tuesday night, I'm taking out the blanks over the spoilers!!!! If you haven't watched it by now, you're not going to!

In one of those "huge gasp" moments on The Sopranos last night, Tony ended Chris' life with his own hands after a horrific car accident left Chris incapacitated. Whether Chris could have been resuscitated is a matter for discussion, and the true reasons for Tony doing what he did are also a matter of hot debate. I'll save those for the comments section. But I would like to honor the life of Christopher Moltisanti with a list of the best "Chris-tah-phuuuh" moments over the 6 seasons of The Sopranos:

1) Finding out that Adriana was a snitch, having a total breakdown, almost beating her to death, then sobbing in her arms, before entertaining her thoughts of entering the Witness Protection Program. Then, going to Tony with the news and having Adriana whacked. (Season 5)

2) Robbing Lauren Bacall of her swag bag after unsuccessfully pitching Cleaver to Ben Kingsley. (Season 6a)

3) Christopher surviving a mock execution by an angered Uncle Junior after hijacking trucks that the family was using to smuggle goods. Of course, surviving only after he was scared enough to shit all over himself. (Season 1)

4) Christopher's role in the disposal of Richie Aprile's body post-Janice killing, and in the disposal of Ralphie Cifaretto, awoken by Tony from a smack and coke induced-haze to help him with the job. (Seasons 2, 4)

5) Christopher getting stuck overnight in the freezing cold wilderness of Pine Barrens with Paulie in their attempt to bury the Russian who they thought they had killed, and who ended up still alive in their trunk and beat the crap out of Christopher when they attempted to make him dig his own grave. The Russian escaped into the wilderness, and Chris and Paulie were always haunted as to whether he would be waiting for them around the corner. (Season 3)

6) Christopher accidentally kills Adriana's lapdog, Cosette, by sitting on the thing, while high on smack. Which leads to an all-family intervention, one of the funniest scenes in the history of the show, concluding with Paulie beating the crap out of Christopher after Christopher insults his own mother. (Season 4)

RIP Chris-tah-phuuuh. You will be missed.

2 Responses:

J-Red said...

You gotta put a spoiler alert on this one. A lot of people TiVo that, especially with the Survivor finale on up against it.

Jeremy said...

My bad, my bad, my bad.

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