July 27, 2007

Michael Vick knows Football Terminology

Courtesy of Foxsports.com, the following is a statement that Michael Vick's attorney, Billy Martin, stressed was written by Vick and that Vick had urged Martin to read following the initial appearance. I thought I had misheard Martin reading the statement when I watched Sportscenter, but it turns out that I hadn't. Read the statement carefully, and see if you can spot anything funny or awkward about the statement. Try not to be influenced by the bold and italicized portion. I promise that's not a hint:

"Today in court I pleaded innocent to the allegations made against me. I take these charges very seriously and look forward to clearing my good name. I respectfully ask all of you to hold your judgment until all of the facts are shown. Above all I would like to say to my mom I'm sorry for what she has had to go through in this most trying of times. It has caused pain to my family and I apologize to my family. I also want to apologize to my Falcon teammates for not being with them at the beginning of spring training."

Hmm...
Option 1: Mike Vick doesn't know yet after six seasons as an NFL player and countless other seasons before that as a casual fan (and dogfighting Don) that this time of year for NFL teams is commonly referred to as "training camp."

Option 2: The statement really wasn't written by Mike Vick at all, but was really written by some overpaid, over-worked associate at Billy Martin's law firm who has never picked up a ball or watched a sporting event except for during his 2L summer when he was mandated to attend summer associate events.

Yeah, I'm gonna go with Option 2. Nice job, Billy Martin. Way to get off on the right foot showing all of us sports fans your competency in that you can't even fake a statement of sympathy correctly.

2 Responses:

michael said...

I also like the "clearing the good name" comment. What good name? The one tied to Ron Mexico? Or the one tied to the Miami airport scandal?

J-Red said...

I definitely caught the spring training thing last night on the radio but forgot about it. Michael Vick, to my knowledge, never played baseball, and certainly not professionally. I agree with the over-worked associate angle.

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