October 21, 2009

Steve Phillips - New Meaning to "Slumpbuster"

So by now we've all heard the allegations of Steve Phillips having had an affair with a 22-year-old production assistant and that said production assistant went all fatal attraction on his family, friending his son on Facebook and sending his wife letters describing birthmarks on his nether regions. If you didn't hear this yet, please consider ECB your breaking news source.

Well, ECB and numerous others have obtained a picture of the 22-year-old sure-to-be hot piece of tail who Steve Phillips was willing to risk career and family for:

Ummmm, really? I guess this must have just been a bad picture. I mean, you know that somebody worth millions is going to make the affair that jeopardizes career and family really worthwhile, right?

Wow. Click on the pictures for enlarged images just to be sure it's as bad as you think (and shield your eyes as you do). And to think Mets fans thought Phillips' most troubling display of past poor decision making was trading Jason Bay and signing Mo Vaughn, Robby Alomar, Bobby Bonilla, Mike Bordick, Kenny Rogers, and Ricky Henderson to huge contracts on the downside of their careers. And to think sports fans in general though Phillips' most troubling display of past poor decision making was taking a starring role in the Sportscenter series of mock press conferences to preview the upcoming baseball season, one of the worst regular features on Sportscenter since the Who's Now series.

Steve Phillips........ I really don't know what to say........ aside from the fact that if you really were in such a bad slump at home with the wife, Buck Showalter might have been a more attractive slumpbuster.

9 Responses:

jbrannon said...

Steve, next time just take one down in a different way. www.drinkslumpbuster.com

Anonymous said...

Oh, look. The Neanderthals really are still in existence (Geico is right!). It's unfortunate that the asshole variety is such a hearty breed.

gpb said...

Picture 1 isn't so flattering but perhaps she got stung by a bee and Steve is holding her after having an allergic reaction.

Picture 2 is better. She's not that unattractive. Sure she isn't a 10 but honestly, I think if you're going to be successful and have an affair, you would want someone who looks like her.

Let's be honest, people seeing you around down with hot pieces of ass will beg questions. "Who's that with Steve Phillips?" or "Who's that guy with (hot piece of ass - provided she's well known)?"

Some random girl like her people won't be as interested. And since he's famous and she's a production assistant (she could just always wear her badge around), it works pretty well to hide it.

Brilliant move on his part I say. I think he just got unlucky in terms of the crazy. At least he's not Steve McNair! (too soon...)

Jeremy said...

To Anonymous... sweetheart, I'm so sorry to have to ruin your worldview and prove that neanderthals and assholes exist in this world. Now, dry your tears, e-mail us a picture of yourself, and you hop right back into that kitchen and bake us a pie, OK?

Emily said...

I do not know Jeremy, nor am I married to him.

"ben" said...

It's possible Phillips really just prefers it like that. But still, I judge.

The Camera Eye said...

I want to see a photo of her kneepads!

Anonymous said...

Where's the photo of his wife? That would let you know whether he was following gpb's logic or he just has horrible taste.

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