So you want to be a REAL sports journalist...

Some have said that bloggers are those who wish to be sports journalists but don't have the talent to be... as in "those who can, play. those who cannot, coach." Well, we here at ECB have never had any aspirations to be real "sports journalists," but we are doing a bit of public service for our readers or fellow bloggers in the blogosphere who believe that sports journalism is the path they want to take.

So you, aspiring sports journalist, can't wait for your trip to the stadium, your all access pass to the field pregame, your access to the press box buffet during the game with one of the best views of the stadium (although I'd put my diet-rific Lean Pocket and frozen grape in-game meal up against any of your press box buffet lunches), and your access to the locker room postgame to try to get that non-cliched, off-the-cuff quote from the player that will make your story one of the most frequently read and cited articles of the entire week.

To quote my inner Lee Corso... "not so fast my friend." For every experience that you get to write home to your parents and boast to your high school friends at your ten-year reunion (making up for the fact that you were the acne-filled, pockmarked editor of your high school paper who went to prom with the head of the A/V Club), you get an experience like those writers covering the Redskins-Rams game yesterday received.

For you see, due to a "minor" water main break in the vicinity of FedEx Field, the showers in the Redskins locker room were off limits yesterday. That's right. Members of the sports media had the luxury of going into the locker room, crowding around Pete Kendall's locker (and other 300+ pound linemen), men who had sweated for five straight hours on a bright sunny day, probably sweated off ten pounds, and breathing in that Odorific air, all in the name of getting that precious byline.

Even Joe Bugel smells like mothballs and sweat after 5 hours baking in the sun, let alone Rabach, Jansen, Samuels, Kendall, et al.

Some may say that they pity the players for the events in Landover. But hey, that's practically assumption of risk when you choose to play in Prince George's County. In fact, they were just being neighborly given how many residents in P.G. are being foreclosed upon. A good Redskins P.R. person could spin it as some sort of "empathy for the locals" event.

Don't forget the true victims here. The sportswriters. Ladies and gentlemen, we at ECB hope that you recover from your traumatic experience soon and have only a short period of convalescence.