February 17, 2009

Idol Recap 2/17/09

So apparently the onset of our annual Idol recaps comes to the dismay of some of our readers. So Lee, I can't promise you this every week, but as a special gift to you, one of our six readers, who claims to have referred a seventh reader to our blog, I give you this:

And we all thought Tatiana was joking when she alluded to doing certain terrible things in order to get people to listen to her demo. Seriously... Google Image search Tatiana Del Toro.

Now, we knew coming into this week that this group of 12 was going to be pretty strong. In fact, I'd say the competition is weighted heavily in this group and anybody in this group has an uphill climb to make it safely into the top 9 just by virtue of being in this group. I shudder to think about some of the drivel that is coming up over the next two weeks. Tonight proved that.....

On to the recaps:

Jackie Tohn:
Wow, this is supposed to be the week that shows off what the Idol fashionistas can do to help the contestants. Nice leather pants. I was so deadened by Jackie's screams and off-tone "singing" that I took to trying to spot cameltoe. No cameltoe spotted. Not too much singing talent either. The entertainment is important to catch people's attention, but at the end of the day, you have to be able to sing. And she proved that she's almost as annoying as Tatiana. Almost. See ya, Jackie.

Ricky Braddy:
A beautiful performance, especially controlling his nerves in his first live performance. But two strikes against him: (1) he wasn't featured at all during Hollywood Week or the auditions hardly, and; (2) he chose a ballad, which is going to be entirely forgettable by the time voting starts 100 minutes from now and 10 contestants later. And Ricky, the microphone isn't just a sparkly prop.

Alexis Grace:
Nice job by me to pick Alexis as one of my top 5 favorites last week. I think she picked a song that might've been just a little too big for her, but she did incredibly with her voice. She came out with some soul and heart. She'll appeal to middle America and has a great story with a husband in Iraq. I'll pat myself on the back again for picking her last week out of a field of 36 and give her my pick again to move on tomorrow night.

Brent Keith:
Earned himself a one-way ticket back to Hicktown with his impersonation of a Chevy commercial. Note to Brent - country stars don't cry in the post-audition interview. Nice vamping Ryan during the technical malfunction.

Stevie Wright:
Holy shit. This was the train wreck I didn't see coming. I didn't really pick her as a top 5 last week, did I? What happened to the chick during auditions who could hold a tune?
Anoop Desai:
If you closed your eyes at the start of his performance, had no idea who was singing, and opened your eyes, you would be shocked when you opened your eyes and saw this nerdish looking Indian guy crooning out R&B in a pretty strong way. I disagreed with the judges and thought it was a very strong performance. Plus I do think he has a big following. I see him making it through. Although I do hope that the Idol stylistas take a weedwhacker to his eyebrows and his massive crown of bedhead.

Casey Carlson:
Wow... when Randy and Kara serenade you to tell you how much you suck, you're in some serious trouble. And did you see her mom and dad? How did she get the looks that she did? It reminded me of a bad college acapella performance of Sting.

Michael Sarver:
Roughneck. Right. I didn't think I'd get reminded of that tonight. Riiiiiiiight. Anyway, put bluntly, I think he picked the perfect song to show off the right blend of entertainment skills to mask some more limited, but serviceable, vocal talent. A hell of a memorable performance. Pretty unexpected. He's definitely a darkhorse to make it through. And if he doesn't make it through, hell... Exxon is making record profits.

Anne Marie Boskovich:
Listen, she's got talent, she didn't sing as flatline as some of the other contestants, but she got swallowed up by totally the wrong song for her. She's very pretty, but there's no chance in hell she's got an American Idol-caliber voice. Aretha needs to be in the pantheon of singers like Whitney that are viewed as Idol contestant Kryptonite.

Stephen Fowler:
The attorney for the heirs of Buckwheat called. They want their look back. Suddenly Idol is paying royalties for these five minutes of television to The Little Rascals. Wow... to follow up a song by Aretha sung by a female of mediocre talent with a song by Michael Jackson sung by a male of mediocre talent, I'm beginning to think the terrorists have won.

Tatiana Del Toro:
Oddly, I think she had the second best female vocals of the night. It really was very good overall aside from a few screetchy spots. After what we saw tonight, I'm beginning to think the last few weeks were a few stupid moments by Tatiana during the first few weeks and a whole lot of clever editing by the Idol producers. I really think that if she doesn't get through tonight she could get a wild card. Who knows if http://www.votefortheworst.com/ will get behind her? The floral print dress... that shit's gotta go. Plus, if she continues on in the competition, I hope she does some tricep pulls, bicep curls, and serious toning down of those cafeteria lady arms. Am I being too mean? I'll stop.

Danny Gokey:
If there's one thing that Idol needs to do is to play up more the fact that this guy's wife died. Because it truly is an understated storyline. I mean, I didn't even know until tonight. Wow. Anyway, he'll benefit from performing last when it comes to the voting. A little thing that us psychology majors know called the "recency effect." I'm not sure that it justified the reaction that the judges gave it. I mean, it was pretty forgettable vocally until the middle-to-end when he finally kicked it up a notch. He'll make it through for sure.
Top Male Votegetter:
Anoop Desai

Top Female Votegetter:
Alexis Grace

Third Place Finalist:
Danny Gokey
Jeremy did a great job with the Idol Recap, as he always does, but the correct answer is:

Male: Anoop Desai

Female: Jackie Tohn

Third Place: Danny Gokey

And if talent is the only variable, Tatiana is the wild card. She obviously saw her audition and Hollywood rounds, and she almost fixed herself.

6 Responses:

Anonymous said...

I actually know Tatiana, and I am pretty sure she must have been drugged tonight because the person you saw on all the other shows is what she REALLY is like, not this calm person! I couldn't believe it when she said that her friends told her she never acts like that. What total bs. I went to school with her in New York. She is a TOTAL whack job.

But she really sang well tonight. I was glad. It was getting to be so horribly embarassing for her I could barely stand it.

J-Red said...

Tell us more. What is her tie to Puerto Rico?

Lee said...

Jesus. You all watched this crap instead of the Terps game didn't you? I am starting to think YOU are the reason the Terps season is in the toilet.

Jeremy said...

It's called DVR for Idol. Although I'll admit, I abandoned the Terps and turned on my DVR midway through the second half of the debacle last night.

Nikhil28 said...

Lee, at least in Idol, you have to wait until the end to know who wins.

Lee said...

You are comparing American Idol to college basketball. I suggest you seek medical attention. We also need your man card back, you no longer deserve it.

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