September 28, 2009

Will Yom Kippur Save Jim Zorn's Job (for 24 hours)?

I sit here typing this blog post violating the laws of my religion on this most holiest day of our calendar year, Yom Kippur. Have no fear, I sit here typing this blog post thirsty as hell, in the midst of my yearly fast, and hungry for some bagels and whitefish in about six hours.

As I was getting ready to head to synogogue this morning, I couldn't help but revisit the Redskins disaster yesterday and the Jim Zorn postgame comments in its wake. For example -

"We went for it on fourth and one because there was no way they (the Lions) could go 99 yards and score." (they did).

"We needed to accept the penalty because we had to push Jason Hanson out of field goal range" (so instead you give the Lions another chance to extend a drive, they do, and score another touchdown instead of a field goal).

I also couldn't help but feel like Jim Zorn is so mellow and so out of his element, there is no question that he is not the person to be coaching the Washington Redskins any longer. There's no anger by him or by the players about how horrifying the play thus far has been and how much wasted talent is on the field. Forget about the fact that firing a head coach after Week 3 will in effect give up on the season - trust me, this season is already lost. We scored two touchdowns combined against the Redskins and Lions (one of which was against the Lions' prevent defense). This team needs a Singletary or Cowher-type personality to grab players by the throats and make some changes.

And it seems that I'm not the only person who feels this way. Hell, it seems like every influential Redskins alum (aside from Sammy Baugh and others who are precluded from speaking because they are... well... dead), thinks that Zorn needs to be gone. Now.

Well, is that going to happen? Likely not today.

For those of you who know much of anything about Judaism, or for those of you who remember a great episode of Entourage, you likely know that Jews are prohibited from transacting business on Yom Kippur. In other words, we negotiate and purchase our break fast platters a few days before Yom Kippur.

Daniel Snyder, owner of the Redskins, is the man who can pull the trigger. Daniel Snyder, owner of the Redskins, is also Jewish. Hell, he's such a big-time Jew, he was inducted into the Greater Washington DC Jewish Sports Hall of Fame some time ago. My invitation to the ceremonies must have been lost in the mail. I'm sure the gefilte fish they had at the awards banquet was sumptuous.

So, if Snyder is going to make a move to fire his coach, it's likely not going to be today. Or at least before sunset today. Jim Zorn can stay medium for about another five hours. Then he ought to break into a Pavlovian sweat every time his cell phone rings. Because I guarantee you this - Redskin One is gassed up, on the tarmac, and ready to pick up Mike Holmgren, Mike Shanahan, Bill Cowher, or Brian Billick.

5 Responses:

"ben" said...

The sun was still out at 4 pm yesterday when the game had already ended. What's the hold up? Sadly, I don't think it's happening this week.

ScarShoulders said...

Zorn totally sucks and religon is saving his job. It's true. But it's not Judiasm. It's Scientology. Doesn't Zorn just seem like an alien loving weirdo Scientologist? And Snyder is boys with Tom Cruise and has a ton of money to piss away on dumb religon fees. Really is the only explanation as to why Zorn has the job in the first place, he sounds like a kid who smoked one too many blunts in the special ed class when he talks about football...

Nikhil Verma said...

Does Snyder strike you as the type who would let Yom Kippur interfere with firing a coach?

The Redskins problems start with Danny and Vinny. Yeah, Zorn may not make you forget about Vince Lombardi. But this is about the way the Redskins go about building their roster. Until that changes, it doesn't matter who the coach is.

"ben" said...

While there is no doubt that the big picture will never get better with Snyder as owner, I think that they could at least have a coach in place who is capable of having that Redskins team beat the Lions. That's my issue. Fine, they won't win the Super Bowl. Can they at least avoid being the NFL laughing stock?

J-Red said...

I like the Scientology comment.

If he is fired this year, only Fassel or Al Saunders could come in and serve as HC and OC midseason.

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