March 1, 2007

Random Musings on Last Night's Game

Wow... I would be totally basking in the afterglow of last night's game except I'm completely sleep-deprived from a game that didn't end until 11:15. Thank you Steven Calder for calling my cell phone at 12:30 a.m. to try to go over the high points of the game. Remember, YOU'RE IN CALIFORNIA ON BUSINESS AND IT WAS THREE HOURS LATER HERE. But a few random thoughts before I go through my typical review of the DC and Baltimore papers (and of course the Raleigh newspaper to see the loser's perspective), and become full of the sportswriter's opinions...

1) Let me begin by noting that it's now March. The greatest sports month of the year for the college basketball fan. Specifically, this year, Thursday and Friday, March 15 and 16, when there are 16 games on each day, all day, from noon until midnight. When I was in college and law school, I had a little bit more freedom to watch these games (i.e. skip class, or during 2L, while I was clerking at a law firm in Baltimore, going with the two partners to watch the games at a local bar all afternoon). Now that I have a real job, I will have to rely on the greatest invention ever, the thing on CBS Sportsline that allows you to watch every game in real time on your computer.

2) So if you're a Duke senior, at this point probably the worst thing in the world to see when the schedule comes out is Maryland set to play at Cameron on your Senior Night. The way I look at it, the men got revenge for the Duke women spoiling my favorite Israeli basketball player, Shay Doron's, senior night. Shay narrowly beats out John Gilchrist for this honor.

3) Can I officially petition ESPN to never, ever make me listen to Mike Patrick and Dick Vitale call another Duke-Maryland game. Or another basketball game period? Here's the thing... when I used to work out at the gym at UM Law, there was a mentally challenged janitor who went about 300 pounds, wore coke bottle glasses, and would go about 2 mph on the treadmill and watch Sportscenter. Then he would try to pick up women all over the gym by just randomly repeating the top sports stories of the day. Such as, "Hey, did you hear about the Yankees winning last night?" He would also occasionally do this for entertainment stories. It came off as a non sequitur that caught the girls completely off-guard. I had total deja vu last night listening to Mike Patrick and Dick Vitale. Who the FUCK talks about Britney Spears shaving her head when there is under a minute to go in the first half of a ridiculously hotly contested basketball game? It adds credence to my theory that Mike Patrick is actually mentally challenged (see below). I was almost happy when the ESPN feed went dead so I could listen to Johnny and Chris on the radio. It made me remember how a game should be called.

3a) Wow... Dick Vitale... what can you say about this guy? It's really a shame too, because he really does know a lot about basketball. But he is so caught up in his schtick that he is absolutely intolerable to anybody who cares about what is going on with the actual game. He spends two hours name dropping, screaming, and basically not doing anything related to color commentary.

3b) So that leaves Mike Patrick to save the day as the play-by-play guy. Right? WRONG. There were so many wrong statements made by Mike Patrick last night about what was going on the floor. Saying that fouls were getting called against wrong people. How difficult is this Mike? The referee signals the number of the player getting called. The P.A. announcer in the arena announces it. Not to mention the fact that numerous occasions you were saying that a foul was called when play was stopped by the refs when really it was just that the ball had gone out of bounds. Horrible. DREADFUL.

3c) Don't even get me started about how these two asshats are actively recruiting for Duke while they are broadcasting. I mean, there is little to no attempt to be impartial. You're going to show 18 artist's renderings of "The Mike Krzyzewski Center for Academic Excellence" instead of showing Duke shoot important free throws down the stretch, and talk about how great it is that Duke University is spending $30 million on this state-of-the-art facility? And I caught myself wondering why they didn't just name the place "The Mike Krzyzewski Center For Duke Athletes Who Can't Read Good [Sean Dockery] And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too."

4) Prediction: By his senior year, Greivis Vasquez will be more hated by the Cameron Crazies than J.J. Redick ever was by the students at Comcast. Here's the difference between the two... ESPN will never run a softball feature on Greivis Vasquez talking about how he writes poetry and how it hurts him when he is mocked by opposing fans. You know why? Cause Greivis actually has the heart and spirit of a warrior. Walking into Cameron as a freshman and being one board shy of being the second Terp ever to pull a triple-double. Are you kidding me???

5) Nice job people who voted in the coach's poll. Maryland unranked. Duke 14th in the country. Same record. Duke with more home losses which reflect worse on a team. You know what? Keep not voting for us. I love it.

6) Gary Williams is the man, as he simply calls it like he sees it... in yesterday's Baltimore Sun, prior to the game, referring to the Cameron Crazies... "They have about half the number of students at the game. We have 4,000; they have 2,000. They get there early, they hand out sheets to practice their cheers. If you think all that stuff is spur-of-the-moment that you see on television, I've got an exclusive for you. It's well-done. It's well-documented. If I see another story on Krzyzewskiville, I might get a little sick."

7) So much more to say except I have to actually start working now and so I guess I don't have anything more to say about the game itself except what Brien said below. Bring on March Madness.

Go Terps!!!

1 Responses:

J-Red said...

If Scott Van Pelt were a chick, I'd have sex with him. Great video.

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