July 9, 2008

Potential Naming Rights Suitors for Nationals Park

Ok, so the television ratings are on par with the 2 a.m. showing of Cheaters on WDCA. Attendance figures, while not dismal, are disappointing and partly inflated by a season ticket base that might not be so motivated to re-up next year. Other indicators of interest, such as internet traffic and MLB.com's ability to identify which league the Nats play in are embarrassing.

Clearly, this isn't such a good time to be selling the stadium's naming rights...or is it? The price might have come down just enough to let some more intriguing players into the bidding.

1) Easterns Motors - Easterns Motors has achieved local notoriety for their use of local sports celebrities in their commercials. I assume they have used a Nat or two, though I, of course, have no idea what any Nats look like. Perhaps they could jump in with a bid.



2) Kim's Karate - "Nobody bothers me! Nobody bothers me, either!" It's the perfect sentiment for those lonely nights at Kim's Karate Park when you're the only fan in your section.



3) Saiontz, Kirk and Miles - "When you have a phone, you have a reliever." This is perfect for the many, many calls to the bullpen Manny Acta will be making for the foreseeable future. Or at least for the season or so he has left.



4) Senate Insurance - These commercials are a local legend, thanks to the catchphrase "Kiss my bumper! Just kiss it!" There are multiple in-game tie-ins with this sponsorship. If the Nats ever win a game before their last out, announcers could call it the Senate Insurance Run. On the rare occasions the Nats homer, the announcers could do a little "Kiss it goodbye! Just kiss it!". I like the options here.



5) Six Flags - This is too easy to resist. Redskins owner Danny Boy Snyder, when not paying wrongful decapitation and wrongful de-foot-itation damages, owns Six Flags also. If you click the play button below, you'll see that awful We Like to Party/Venga Boys commercial with the creepy old dancing guy.



6) Koons Ford/Toyota/Etc. - Ok, I've always been strangely attracted to Crystal Koons.



Any other ideas?

10 Responses:

Brien said...

Gebco Insurance - I hear Jon Ogden is looking for work, he could do some great dance videos for the scoreboard.

Shoe City - It's your city, my city, Shoe City. Now that's going to be stuck in my head all day.

Jeremy said...

You win. Your post had me laughing even though it was nasty on the Nats.

And Brien, those are Baltimore chains. I had the pleasure of seeing those commercials (especially Shoe City) all three years I lived in Baltimore during law school. Moved to DC and they're gone. I do miss living one block south on Eutaw from a Shoe City though. It was so convenient...

Brien said...

Really? I never remembered seeing Shoe City commercials until I moved down to College Park. Maybe I'm just getting too old.

I just checked and it looks like both Shoe City and Gebco have locations in PG county, at least.

J-Red said...

I considered Gebco, but since Ogden (who is from D.C.) only really is known for Baltimore I left it out.

Brien said...

After that big rookie contract, maybe Michael Beasley will buy the naming rights.

Nic said...

Koons wins. I so loved/hated their commericials on WTOP.

Brien said...

Welcome back, Nic. We were starting to wonder what happened to you.

J-Red said...

I got bored with her and let her out of the basement.

Nic said...

Ahh, thanks guys.
Actually my computer is in the shop. So I'm sneaking time in while I'm on the job...

Jeremy said...

Hey Nic! Welcome back! Our commenting community has been one large swordfight without you.

Summer is here and there's never been a better time to try your hand at online sports betting. Place your bets on your favorite horse with horse racing or even try your luck with your favorite football team. Enjoying sport is just a click away!