April 3, 2007

American Idol Round of Nine

Jeremy's out watching minor league baseball in D.C., so I'm on Idol duty tonight.

To begin with, Ryan went with the gray suit and matching gray tie with a black shirt. Looked a little Regis to me from the Who Wants to Be a Millionaire era. Jeremy got pretty far in that contestant process by the way.

In order of the singers:

1) Blake - Mack the Knife

Blake varied from very poor enunciation to overenunciation, but he was otherwise quite good. He moved extremely well within the rhythm of the song. It was probably his best performance since the Keane song he did the first week. The song has a tough beat and he stayed on it perfectly.

2) Phil - Night and Day

Phil's in some trouble. At the time I thought it had a dull beginning. Phil should ALWAYS wear a hat because he looks a bit Alien Nation without one. He built up his vocal strength throughout the song and ended strongly, but overall his performance was extremely forgettable.

3) Melinda Doolittle - I've Got Rhythm

The saxophone stepped on her a bit early on, but calmed down after a few bars. It almost seems like Idol contestants are trained to start slow and then build as they go; that's not a bad strategy. She did a great job making the song jazzy and slowing it down 3/4 of the way through. Her stage movements fit the song very well. I still am not enthused by her week-in week-out demeanor. It comes off fake whether it is or not.

4) Chris Richardson - Mr. Saturday Dance - Duke Ellington

I hated it live. I think Chris' snapping actually threw him off early. He struggled at times to feel the rhythm of the song and rushed through the ending. All the judges pimped him hard though, and in the end-of-show playback I had a much better feeling about it. I think I might have just caught something early that spoiled the whole thing for me. The lady seemed to really enjoy it too.

5) Jordin Sparks - On a Clear Day

She was technically perfect, never missing a note. That being said it sounded "cabaret". I'm allowed to say that because Simon didn't. She used her deadly little smirk, and did a good job playing the crowd. She also ended on a very strong note. I'm worried that this wasn't stand-out tonight though.

6) Gina Glockenspiel - Smile

I hate myself for not doing something productive during this time, like my taxes. She wore some kind of braids in the front of her hair. Think Missy Elliott. Her tongue ring is somehow off-center. She was very off-rhythm early, perhaps half a beat at times. She really sucked. It occured to me while watching it that it would have been a scenery change song in a Broadway play. Something to distract you while they take out one set of fake trees and put in another. Randy and Paula were both happy at first while Simon called her crappiness out. Then Paula said in a follow-up question "Aim for your personal best." She sucked.

7) Sanjaya - Cheek-to-Cheek

Sanjaya played Paula a bit during the song as other underage boys have before. He wore a white suit with white shoes and a black open-collared shirt. The judges have given up. Randy said "I'm not even going to say anything. He's an entertainer now." Paula agreed, saying she wasn't sure that she wasn't watching "Dancing with the Stars." Simon said "Let's try a different tactic this week. Incredible." He'll live on.

8) Haley Slutnato - Ain't Misbehavin' (except when I am)

Ok, Haley had a seizure on stage. I hope brain damage didn't result. Trust me, I seriously, really, definitely don't mind a girl slutting it up on stage. With every trumpet burst Haley developed a new neurological ailment. I haven't seen an average-bodied pretty-faced girl make that many stripper moves since I got laid over in Birmingham. Hmmm....I mean....since I was forced off a plane and took a layover in Birmingham. Simon gave the very constructive criticism, "I think you've got great legs." Someone, I think Simon, said she was "paegantly."

9) LaKisha - Stormy Weather

She ruled. She moved very well but could have made the song a little jazzier. By FAR the best outfit she's worn. Print up top, corsetted in the "waist" and print hips down.

So coming into tonight I think the default bottom three were Phil, Haley and Gina. I don't see it being any different tomorrow night except that Jordin might be in some trouble too. Her outfit was not "flattering".

If I had to guess I'd say either Phil or Gina is going home. I'll officially vote for Gina because she's the reason I still don't want dinner tonight.

8 Responses:

Jeremy said...

Thanks J-Red for taking care of that for me. Even though this was originally your post concept that I hijacked. And for the record I was celebrating my crafty and shrewd people's exodus from Egypt, instead of watching my AA Nats get beat up on again by the AAA Marlins. And also for the record, good memory on my almost-Millionaire spot! I also was one question away from making it out to L.A. for Teen Jeopardy. Damn question on the New Testament... how unfair is that?

But anyway, I think Phil gets booted. He's been close so many times now. Gina has enough fans that she's built up some insurance. And Jordin has an interesting body. I didn't know until I read at the gym that she was a plus-size model prior to being on A.I.

When is the Bon Jovi show?

J-Red said...

You're Gina's only fan. I am convinced you have 1,000 phones set to repeatedly speed-dial her number. You know that she doesn't actually answer the phone, right? You can quit running that filthy message to her. You accidentally called me with it last week.

Passover, Nats slaughter--they seem related to me.

J-Red said...

And I'm done with DialIdol. There's no way Phil got the second-most votes and LaKisha is in the bottom two. I refuse to believe that.

Jeremy said...

I would abuse Gina. Positively crush it. I think the fiancee is aware of this.

Seriously, toss up between Gina and Haley... I think we all know who would be a little bit more fun.

And this blog just took a serious veer off to the left, so before we have to reexamine the scope, I think I'll just end this comment.

Brien said...

Really? Gina and Haley? They're both OK, but neither one is anything special. There's no Carrie Underwood in the field this year.

And American Idol isn't out of scope, it's one of our core competencies!

J-Red said...

I think Jeremy meant "Who Would You Do?" is outside the scope. If we're talking about having a good time, I'd go with Paula Abdul.

Between Haley and Gina, it's a tough call. Gina has the tongue ring, and that is a plus. Haley also does not have the stripper moves completely down yet, but she did try it on her own accord. Jordin's 17 so we'll leave her out.

I'll stick with Paula.

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